J_E_G's Small Life In a Large Galaxy

2003-01-01T15:14:00.000-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!!

Hope everyones upcoming year turns out great.

2002-12-31T20:36:00.000-06:00

It's New Years Eve, yay!!!! One more year comes to an end and another one starts. I'm not one to get excited over new years, after all you go to bed and get up in the morning, is there a big magical change that's taken place. No not really, the only thing that changes is you have to remember to write a different date. You know it's not like at mid-night on new year's eve a time line crack(to signify the end of the year) appears in the middle of the floor and if you don't step over it right away you will miss out on the new year.

I am bringing in the new year sitting here by myself, and no I don't say that because I'm feeling bad about it nor do I want any one to feel sorry for me. I had a chance to go up to my sister's house but chose to stay here and get some work done. Sometimes just being by yourself is not a bad thing. So I think I'll get started downloading some things and work on some projects I've wanted to get started on for a while now. If you are partying tonight have fun and be safe. Talk to you next year.

2002-12-30T22:17:00.000-06:00

Ok so today was the first day back to work after a week off. A day i wasn't looking forwaed to for sure, but like a friend who I talked to late last night said, after the first couple of hours all will be back to normal. And she was right, I totally survived this day, although none of the micky mouse stuff has changed. Oh well, I will continue to trudge along till it's time to make a change, which I hope will come soon. At least something has changed already, before I would have just accepted this and kept trudging along no matter how much I disliked the situation However I am working on making this change come about, my newest problem now might be patience. haha

And yes, yesterday wasn't very good for me, but it has gotten better. The things racing around in my head have settled down and I can see a little clearer now. I am doing a lot better today and the positive attitude is coming back to me. Oh, they are giving us a break tomorrow we only have to work 8 hours, and we have New Years day off and back at it again on Thursday. That's it for now.

2002-12-29T18:49:00.000-06:00

No big post tonight. Today has been a strange walk around in a fog type of day. Don't know guess i've just got a lot on my mind and everything is colliding due to lack of room in my brain. Just like a lot of things running around in different directions and running into each other. It is a strange feeling and one I know will ease up and go away, yet while you have it, it's hard to think and function. Most of the day my nerves have felt streched to the brink. If you were to come up and tap me on the shoulder i'd probably take a trip to the moon, and wouldn't even need a rocket to get there. You could liken it to the way you feel four days after you quit smoking. Well thats all I feel like writting right now. Don't worry this will pass..... I know.
Later

2002-12-28T23:30:00.000-06:00

Today was a very lazy day for me. I didn't get a thing accomplished, and I really didn't care. Maybe it is because I know my week off from that crazy rock quarry is almost over. Hard to believe a week has gone by already!! And if you can't tell this is something I am not looking forward to. This job has become something I just drag myself to day after day just so I can get a paycheck at the end of the week. I have become very tired and burnt out doing this work. And the fact it is run like a micky mouse outfit now does not help matters any. When I first started working in the rock business we were a locally owned company. But as of a little over a year ago we were bought out by a large corporation, and thats when it started being run like a micky mouse outfit. Being reduced to just an employee number has been hard to get used to, that and all the extra rules and paperwork. That plus I am not sure how much longer I can work for a company that thinks we should work every daylight hour there is in the day. An example is we are still working 10 hour days even though there is only 9 1/2 hours of daylight in a day. Sure one could argue about the good money I would be making, but there comes a point when you would like to feel you can have a life of your own. It's got to about more then just work, work, work. So I am real close to quitting out there and starting over on something else. That's where the scarry part comes in especially at my age, but I now believe and have the confidance I can do it. And theres only one way to find out and that is to take that first step and then dive in and do it. I guess we shall soon see. That's enough ranting and rambling for now.

2002-12-27T14:43:00.000-06:00

I am coming to the conclusion that I must live in the land of the most screwed up weather going. For example yesterday it was cold and snowing, today its sunny and 50. And tomorrow its supposed to in the 60's go figure. I don't know if I should keep my winter coat handy or go out and get some sun tan lotion. I do know one thing and that is these days of rollercoaster temptures sure make it easy for people to get sick.

Got up this morning had to run to the grocery store....always an adventure. This trip was no different. Got in line to check out and of course there is only one register open. From somewhere towards the rear of the line I heard it, I knew I would I was just surprised it took as long as it did. Anyway this lady starts bitching, it's like "is this the only line open I got to go to work in a few minutes, and why don't they open another register." You know it almost makes a person want to turn and say look they run the store not us, so quit bitchin to us,we are in line and waiting just like you are. Besides I thought to myself lady if you knew when you had to work why didn't you give yourself ample time to shop. Thats it for now.

2002-12-26T18:47:00.000-06:00

Its been a quiet kinda laid back day. Did some straightening up and putting the house back together after yesterday. Then spent most of the afternoon looking some things up on the internet and doing a lot of reading. Was sitting here earlier watching it snow. It was the first snowfall of the season, it was kind of nice to see. Of course I could say it was nice because i knew it wasn't going to amount to much. It's quit already, and what did fall melted as soon as it hit the ground.

Not sure what tonight holds in store for me, I'll just go along and do whatever pops into my mind to do. I've lost interest in TV, so more then likely whatever I do will involve sitting in front of my computer. Later

2002-12-26T00:14:00.000-06:00

The gifts have been opened, the meal is over, the visitor's have packed up, rowdy kids and all and gone back from whence they came. So now I'm sitting here listening to this strange sound fill the air........silence, you know peace and quiet. Yes no more screaming, yelling or running around, all is back to normal...well almost. There is still the uaual clean up to do after the normal family get together. You know I've often wondered why it is you make sure your place is nice and clean before company shows up, when 10 minutes after they are there your place suddenly looks like a disaster area. I think from now on I will just leave the cleaning for after the family get together. All in all I must say the went fairly good. Didn't even reach borderline nervous wreck, like I have on some other get togethers. But still, I am glad it's over. Thats all for now. Hope your holiday turned out well.

2002-12-24T22:29:00.000-06:00

So the shopping is done, everything is wrapped and under the tree. All I've got left to do is get through the family get together tomorrow. I just want to get this over and move on, like it is every year. Sounds like I hate the holiday season, right, not really. It's just not my favorite. Every year I trudge through it, and every year I manage to survive. I'll let you know tomorrow how the family get together went.

Ok, so in keeping with the season, to all who may happen in here

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS

2002-12-23T18:00:00.000-06:00

Well I did it, I stayed up till 4am zooming around the net checking this out and reading that. It's so easy to lose track of time when I get to doing this. Funny thing is that I was back up by 8:00 this morning, and really haven't felt tired. Ok, well maybe just a little.

This was the first day of my week long unscheduled vacation(vacation hah...a vacation you get paid for) ok my just plain unsheduled week off. Anyhow I spent today getting some things done that needed done. Cleaned my room and did my laundry. Laundry was the most fun, it's not doing the laundry i don't like, but rather hanging all the clothes up afterwards. Which I'm happy to say I accomplished today. A lot of times I usually end up just neatly throwing the clothes over the back of a chair. Well you say, what if they get wrinkled......simple, I do what any other self-respecting bachelor would do when this happens, I throw them back in the dryer. Tonight I'll be back on the net, only this time I am going to be reading up on some things I am trying to learn how to do. So I'm off to read. Later

2002-12-23T02:36:00.000-06:00

Here it is going on 2:30 in the morning, what the hell am I still doing up. Maybe it's because I know i don't have to get up and put in 10 hours at that damned rock quarry for the next week. Yeah that's it. Besides, and yes call me strange, but I don't like sleep. Sleep to me is the most NEEDED waste of time we have. Well maybe I'll give up and go to bed shortly.

Me in front of my computer at 2:30 in the morning.

2002-12-22T21:05:00.000-06:00

We here in the sleepy little town of Junction City, Kansas, got some good news last week. News that could bring us some positive national attention for a change. Reason i say this is the last time we got any kind of national attention was when it was discovered that those two assholes who blew up the federal building in Oklahoma City, were staying here. Turns out they built the bomb just a little south of town. The good news is that Cabela's(a large outdoors company) has selected a lake just outside of town to host a large Walleye fishing tournament. Finally newsmen will be coming to our humble area of the world to cover something other than a disaster. Below is a picture of the lake where the tournament will be held. And if you click on the photo it will take you to my photo's with more pic's of the lake and this nice sleepy little town I live in.

2002-12-22T10:35:00.000-06:00

Its sunday again, one of my favorite days....not. It is usually a dull day for me. But i have come up with some things to work on that can keep me busy. That is if my family gives me the chance to work on them. It's always come here do that, yet no one come here to visit. Example one of my brother's is coming to town to visit, but he is going over to my other brother's house instead of coming to mine. I'm supposed to drop everything and go over there. Ok, so i might make a short appearence just to keep the peace.

Oh yeah, found out friday that they were shutting down at work next week for the holidays. The time off will be nice, however the downside is that this is time off without pay. I will only get two days of holiday pay for the week. Oh well thats life. grrr More later

2002-12-20T21:50:00.000-06:00

Following along the lines of my previous post, the other night while i was just sitting around relaxing I started to try and think of songs whose lyrics described my life. And I was able to come up with a song that described the way my life was about 10 years ago or so. Back then I had gone through some bad times and didn't want to face life people or anything in this world. Oh I could still function i.e. go to work, school and such, but the rest I just wanted to shut out. Tell you what, here are the lyrics to the song I refered to earlier, and you will see what I am trying to say. What's almost scarry is it seems as though they wrote this song about me, describes my life at that time to a T. Of course I have long since gotten over this way of living my life. Never again, from now on it is nothing but being positive and moving forward.

I Am A Rock
Artist: Simon & Garfunkel
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Don't talk of love,
Well I've heard the word before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Also why is it that whenever you don't want to win a radio contest you know the answers to every question they ask. This happened to me today at work. I keep the radio on in my truck to keep me from going crazy driving up and down the same road all day long. Well anyway they were having this contest, and they gave the question and i was like I know that one, but I didn't even try to call in (on my cell phone) because I didn't give a damn about what you could win. Why can't they ask questions like that when there is something I really want to win.

2002-12-20T16:53:00.000-06:00

Change is in the air, yes something new is on the way. Have been thinking a lot lately and decided it's time for me to make a change in my life. A long overdue change I might add. Lately I've lived my life just kinda rolling along with everything, didn't like change and if risk was involved then forget it. No more, no longer will I let life live me, I am going to live life. From now on no fear, if there is risk involved I am not going to turn away from it. Sure I stand the chance of losing and falling on my face, but then again I could succeed, how will I know if I don't try.

From now on anytime I come upon something new that will involve risk and will involve change and I start to get that, I'm not sure I want to do this feeling again, I am going to shove that feeling aside. Because like I said I'm tired of that feeling. There have been a lot of things slip away from me because I was afraid to take that step and do something different. I'm ready to move forward and live life and try and get ahead in life. No more just rolling with the flow.

2002-12-17T21:53:00.000-06:00

so I haven't posted for a few days. Dunno maybe it was a combination of being somewhat busy and a little lazy. Spent last night on-line doing some x-mass shopping. Got some things for a special friend. Seems like it should be easy, pick something and buy it, right. It would be if there was only one item to choose from. But thats never the case, theres always a lot of nice things to choose from. So there in lays the problem, making a choice. But after looking i did manage to choose a few things, sure hope she likes them.

Just got back from the grocery store. Going there can be fun too. All I needed to get was one item. When I got into line I ended up behind a lady with a whole basket full of stuff. Do you think she would look up and say," oh, you only have one thing you can go ahead of me". Would of been nice but oh nooooo, like I said I just love going to the grocery store, yeah right.

2002-12-14T21:29:00.000-06:00

So I was sitting here with nothing to do, and was looking at what I had done to revamp my site. I still didn't like it so I started over again. Took me a little doing, but I finally came up with this look. This I like, yeah.

Another uneventful day passes by. Just the usual go to work, come home and work here on the internet.

Here is a saying that I heard or read somewhere that sometimes appears to fit me: It seems as though the only things I can do right are the wrong things.

2002-12-12T21:37:00.000-06:00

Just finished fixing up some of my bills for the month. You wonder will they ever end answer-no. As you finish this months and start to breath a sigh of relief here comes next months bills. Like a vicious circle, round and round you go till you are dizzy enough to fall off the face of the earth. But I am not that lucky......I only do a header into the floor and I'm still here to face the up-coming months bills, and a nice bruise on my forehead. Well, ok not really, but it was a good thought. Yeah, I guess that's why we have that job we go to everyday. Oh to be rich and never have another bill, or at least not have to know about them. When you're rich you hire someone to look at the bills for you. I tried to solve that problem last night by playing the Power Ball lottery game. Huge jackpot of $100 million, but no luck. Granted I only spent two dollars to play but you would think I could get at least one number.

Ever find yourself in a situation where you say if I don't laugh I'll cry. But wait we are men and men don't cry. It's true, we men don't cry, even if we appear to be we're not. So here is our secret, what we are actually doing is practicing a form of weight gain prevention. We don't want to have excess fluid build up due to tear retention. haha

2002-12-11T23:32:00.000-06:00

Heartbreaker, Whole lotta Lovin, Stairway To Heaven, Iron Man, Paranoid, Laguna Sunrise any one remember these songs. I was just sitting here thinking about the music I listened to when I was growin up. Black Sabbath and Led Zepplin popped into my mind almost right away. These two groups are like my favorites from whenI was growing up. Although I'm pretty open when it comes to music. I have a friend who has introduced me to some music of today that I didn't think I would like as much as I do. Would write more but am sitting here falling asleep trying to do this more later.

Oh yeah found this pic while doing an image search for Black Sabbath.

2002-12-11T21:23:00.000-06:00

As you can see I managed to finally change the look of my site. Just my getting this much done calls for a celebration. Although still not sure I'm satisified with the looks yet but I think I'ts better. I even managed to change the background color in two different spots on here as well. And for an amature such as myself that's an accomplishment.

Today we had our annual safty and first-aid training. The only good thing about today was we got to spend the day inside out of the weather. Other then that the day was borrrrring. Of course after attending these for like 15 years now I kinda knew what to expect, and I was right. Same ol boring videos, although a different instructor just as boring as the instructor the year before. I e-mailed a friend this morning before I went to this class and told I thought I'd take a pillow ther with me, but that might just look a little to obvious.
Of course I ended up getting there just before the class started and was forced to sit in the front row. This made it harder for me, sitting in the front row during a boring class is not the place to be. I just hope the instructor thought I was nodding in agreement with him all the time and didn't figure out what was actually happening.......me trying like hell not to fall asleep hahaha. Finally the class came to an end, a very long 8 hours I might add. Ran by the store, came home had supper and started to work on my site here. Am going to try to put up more interesting posts and pic's, as well as some more projects. That's it for till next time.

2002-12-09T20:53:00.000-06:00

Another non-exciting day at work. 24 eight mile round trips. Wow! I have been contemplating finding a new job, one where I can use my brains just a little more then I do right now. I mean how many brain cells does it take to drive a truck up and down the same road. It's an easy job and the money good, but after so long I'm burnt out where I'm at. If I can find a more challenging job with the same pay I'd jump on it in a heartbeat.

Got home from work this evening and checked the mail like I always do. I opened this one letter and pulled out this check thing totalling $22,500.00, wooohooo I'm rich I thought haha, alas, upon further checking it was just an advertisment ploy, from some loan company. So ok I'm not rich after all, damn them anyway. Oh well, just my luck....maybe next time.

2002-12-07T20:58:00.000-06:00

Yes worked again today. work work work.......but this time of the year all the hours you can get in the better off I think you are.

Put up x-mas decorations and decorated the x-mass tree. Ok ok so I didn't do it, but I was going to. When I got home from work my brother and his wife were already here and doing it. Who knows, maybe they thought I wasn't going to do it. Oh well, it's better this way, at least now I don't have to listen to my brother telling me I did it wrong and how he would have done it this way or that way. But you know I really don't care, meh, maybe I'm turning into a scrooge haha.

I finally got the photo essay I did about the rock quarry where i work. Started to put it up last night but gave up till tonight after getting half way through and accidently hitting a wrong key and losing all the work I had already done grrrr. So if you want to see some pic's depicting what its like at a rock quarry then go here.

2002-12-06T06:10:00.000-06:00

Same ol stuff, go to work, come home. Although I did take my cam to work and got some pic's of the quarry I work in. A couple are posted below, the rest will be in kind of a photo essay when I get it made.

I did get to talk to my special friend Lisa(not her real name) last night. She had all kinds of exciting news about herself. Shes going to be on TV, yes a real live TV star, good for you girl. She never fails to perk me up whenever I talk to her. She's the best thing to happen to me since.......ahh hell she's just the best thing ever.

Here is a picture of the truck I drive and the road I bounce up and down on.

2002-12-04T20:41:00.000-06:00

Another uneventful day at work. The only good thing was that we didn't get that 2-4 inches of snow the weatherman kept telling us we were going to get.

Surviving Youthful Antics Without Getting Caught
I was always accused of living a dull life when I was growing up. Not necessarily so. My brother was the one always giving me heat about this. Thought I was a goddie two shoes, which was good, because that's the impression I wanted to give. This is the same brother who was notorious for being in trouble. I did finally explain to him that in fact I did do things, even things I could have gotten in trouble for, and that the only difference between him and I was he got caught. I learned early how to play the game. Follow the rules to the T, but only to the point they (parents) stop focasing attention on you. It's amazing what you can get away with when people don't expect you capable of doing such things. heheh

2002-12-04T06:09:00.000-06:00

Hmmm sometimes seems like I'm talking to the world thru sound proof walls. Time to head to work.

2002-12-04T00:12:00.000-06:00

Right now it's midnight and im sitting here wondering what the hell i'm doing still up. Can't sleep,no wait , don't want to sleep that's it. Although i'm not sure why. I guess it's because so much of my world is consumed with working that i just dont want to give up any of what I would consider as my time. Have decided going to work some more on this site to make it less dull not so boring even. Ok Ok so i'm going to force myself to bed, really should get sleep. Must be up at 5am for, you guessed it, getting ready for work.

Mental note: find way to become independantly rich so I only work when I damn well feel like working.

2002-12-02T05:52:00.000-06:00

So here it is 5:50in the morning, and I'm sitting here trying to get motivated to go to work. It's not the gonig to work that's the problem, but having 4 days off in a row for the holiday, that has me a little sluggish. Well only one way to do it, go and jump in with both feet, and get back into the swing of things. More later tonight........maybe.

2002-11-29T19:03:00.000-06:00

Half way through my 4 day holiday weekend. And I somehow survived the family Thanksgiving day get together. Although I am damn glad to not have screaming whining kids running around. Did something foolish today, never never let anyone talk you into going to the after Thanksgiving day sales. Thats what I let my sister do to me. Big Mistake, those people are dangerous. Actually it was a double whammy, she said she wanted to be there when they opened at 6am, so I set my alarm to get everyone up, I got up but guess who was to tired to get up. And guess who couldn't get back to sleep. Never again sister or not next time she's on her own. The rest of my day was pretty slow. Just kinda took it easy. So there you have it, my exciting day after the holiday.

2002-11-28T08:53:00.000-06:00

2002-11-27T19:52:00.000-06:00

Was up at 5am this morning to get ready for work. Just love it when the weather turns cold, seems like it takes 10 minutes longer to get ready with the extra clothes I need to stay warm at work. Not to mention it feels like you instantly gain like 15 more pounds.
Work went fairly well, although about three hours in the main rock crusher broke down, and we spent the rest of the day trying to fix it. Thank goodness it turned out to be a little warmer then it was supposed to be. That made it a little easier to be out working on the crusher.

The last half hour been sitting here thinking of some of the things I need to be getting done ie laundry, cleaning etc. etc... Guess its about time to start doing and quit thinking haha. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and thought we were going to have a house full of family for dinner. But now it looks like half of them won't make it. In a way I am kinda glad. Don't get me wrong I like my family, but put a bunch of them together here in the house and they tend to get on my nerves. Ok so its time to get started on that things to get done list. More later

2002-11-26T22:51:00.000-06:00

After what seemed like a million tries I finally got somewhat the color I was looking for on the left hand side of this page. Not through yet, still working on getting this site a little more presentable.

Well I think I can now say winter is here. Yes its damned cold out now. I guess thats why they call it winter, right. If I really can't take it, I suppose I could start making like a bird, and head south for the winter. Yeah right, if I could afford it that's exactly what I would do.

Not much else happening today. Went to work, and froze i might add.Came home only to have to run to the store. Was only going to get some celery and pop, but every regisiter had a line a mile long. I wasn't about to stand in those lines just to get 2 items. So I came home empty handed. Then worked on tweaking this site a little more. Which brings me to now which finds me ready to go to bed. More tomorrow.

2002-11-25T20:23:00.000-06:00

Not a bad day at work today. Although can tell winter is setting in, getting colder and colder each day. I hate the cold. Oh well cant like everything can we.

I was thinking some more about the post I made Sunday about rich giving to the poor. I think i've come up with the answer to the vicious circle that could happen. Instead of the rich giving to the poor, both the rich and poor alike sell off all thier belongings, then give them to the church. For we all know the church can't be considered rich and everybody can live unhappily ever after. Ha Ha I think not. Why would we intentionally do something to make ourselves miserable. I say we shouldn't, we deserve to live our lives in as happy a state as we can be. Money Money thats all church is about anymore, which is why I gave up on going to church long ago. That's it for now.

2002-11-25T05:53:00.000-06:00

Not much sleep last night not because I couldn't but because I dont want to. Its like about over half of my day is consumed by going to and working. So when do I really get to do some of the things I want to do. So I decided to give up something and sleep is it. Although i'm sure it will catch up with me sometime or another.

I have discovered a way to keep going is through the help of friends. Sometimes just talking to friends keeps me going and gives me extra energy. Especially this one friend who I talked with just last night. Talking with her always leaves me feeling on top of the world and feeling so good that I dont even notice I'm operating on 3 hours sleep.

2002-11-24T13:47:00.000-06:00

Ok so i'm on about my third template trying to find one I can work with. Think I will stay with this one for now before I screw it up and have to start over again.

I was driving over to my brother's house earlier today. Reached down and turned on the radio, it was on an AM station, not good on a Sunday morning. AM radio station on Sunday morning = religious service broadcast. Before I could switch it over to an FM station, I heard this guy preaching that according to the bible we are to sell all that we have, give to the poor and follow the church. Hummmm, now that got me to thinking, if we were not meant to possess anything then why were we given the ability to earn and gain such possessions. Even if we were to follow this presumption would this not be the begining of a vicious circle. For if we were to sell off all our possessions and give to the poor. Would not the poor then become rich while we would become poor, therefore they would then be required to sell what we just gave to them so as to give it back to us. And we start all over again. So who said religion was logical. Certainly not me. Just something to think about.